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A great way to parent children is to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings triggered by their unwanted behavior. By being aware of the feelings and thoughts that arise you can determine the likely priority of your child. You will be able to determine if your child’s priority is power, attention, avoidance, significance, or revenge. If you know what their priority is then you can act in a way that will help them learn how to change their behavior in a way that is in their best interest. Children are not the only ones who are frequently unaware of the underlying priority that is driving their behavior. Learning to determine the underlying priority of yourself and others is beneficial in any relationship. It is not difficult to learn how to do but it does require time and guidance.

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