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I thought my feelings?

I still remember when I discovered that I thought my feelings more than I felt them. My mind had really always been my best asset for many legitimate reasons. Becoming a lawyer seemed natural for me because of the way my mind worked. I felt at home sitting in a law class undergoing tough Socratic questioning. I didn’t always think my feelings but by the time I was out of law school it had become the norm.  It wasn’t becoming a lawyer that caused it, law school simply allowed me to strengthen a habit that had been developing my entire life. I know plenty of lawyers who are brilliant and feel their feelings fully and easily. It really had more to do with my habitual thinking that my mind needed to protect me from feeling. It made no difference why I developed the belief; the critical piece was that I was unaware of my belief. Although my mind prides itself in being logical it certainly wasn’t logical to think that my life would be better if I only thought my feelings. Some of the best lessons I’ve learned I have learned the hard way. I am grateful now for the challenges I faced that knocked me down. Being knocked down in ways that my "thinking” was not the solution has always ended up being gift. I say this all the time because it encourages my mind to stand down, "When I open my heart I think more quickly and I’m smarter.”

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