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Speaking the Truth

Being able to say what you really want to say requires more than just speaking up. Your voice is only half of the formula necessary to communicate in difficult situations. The other half is vulnerability. Vulnerability when expressed is strength. Vulnerability requires an open heart which really means allowing your feelings instead of stopping them. Allowing your feelings does not mean you have to or should act on your feelings; you can feel your feelings without expressing them. Vulnerability will allow you to speak and be heard in the most powerful and effective way. In difficult situations if you speak without vulnerability you’re likely to produce a poor result. Even if you say the truth the situation will likely not be improved in the way you intend. It’s often the reason why good people can have totally different opinions after a difficult conversation. It is never enough to just be willing to speak the truth; you must be willing to speak the truth with vulnerability. I always think of this whenever I hear someone say, "I tell it like it is!” Communicating without vulnerability leads to distance in relationships when closeness is really what you want. The lack of vulnerability results in further conflict with each side thinking the other side did not listen. People listen for words but also tone and feelings; people understand with their mind and feelings. Being vulnerable when it’s difficult requires courage and strength. Closing your heart requires neither and is a reaction to fear and limiting beliefs. Vulnerability creates the connection that you yearn for in your relationships. Vulnerability is a key ingredient to being an effective leader and problem solver.

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